Start Building Your Boats

 

We are living in a post-pandemic world. Scratch that. We are living through a pandemic, and society has become frayed, not quite feral yet, but the threads are there to be pulled and we’ll all end up in whatever boat will take us. Noah isn’t coming around to save our asses this time, so we’ll probably end up watching monkeys cage fight on what used to be a luxury yacht that has been repurposed after bloody revolution which left Proud Boys whipping in the wind like fucking scarecrows as the cyclone of earthly vengeance tears through the heartland. But we’re not quite there yet.

 

Where we are is watching our sporting idols, the best of our physical specimens, starting to act like its flotilla time, strapping their insanity to the great boat, getting in early before the credits roll on this fucked up planet.

 

Aaron Rodgers aka The Devil in my many writings is furiously building a fucking boat. All he had to do was take a shot and go play ball, but Aaron Rodgers let The Devil inside of himself convince him that he was Superman. No vaccinations for you! He went on a podcast, and with almost literally every word, he buried himself deeper and deeper in the insane asylum that is our rightwing brothers and sisters who have GONE COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE!!

 

Somehow, Joe Rogan, middling comedian/actor/mma voice/increasingly insane has become a guru for these idiots like Rodgers. Imagine being so fucking dense that you get yourself hooked up with Joe Rogan and all that entails and then also talking about it out loud while the whole of civilization laughs and laughs and laughs as they pour gasoline into the dumpster fire that has become your life.

 

Those State Farm commercials probably aren’t gonna be there for you, buddy, as you Galaxy Brained your way into the fucking soup of insanity that is The Discourse for the white American male, convinced that you are Superman or Jesus or yes, the goddamn Devil. You have been revealed as a fucking internet shitposter essentially, and whatever fake celeb marriage you’ve got going on is just another bullshit reality show, and you might have gotten away with it if they didn’t pull back the curtains, but they did, and now you are naked and alone, a thing to be gawked at, pissed on, shit on, until you are buried in the filth of your idiocy.

 

There is no going back from this, it is a cultural break. Rodgers (The Devil was embarrassed to be associated with him and has asked me to drop all sponsorships) is now just that ghoul who got Raven’s sister hooked up on meth. He is not a glorious champion of the West, he simply has been reduced to that meth head level, skulking around the edges of society, shunned and ruined. Aaron Rodgers is not a smart man, as Forrest Gump might say, he is just a pathetic jackass who can throw a football a long way. There is no Spirit Warrior energy with this dude, just a dumb asshole who read some things on Facebook and ended up taking that literal horse shit because the world is filled with soft-brained idiots like this.

 

But Aaron Rodgers is but one man in this carnival of insane idiocy known as the NFL. He will just retire to some stupid Libertarian shack in Colorado, and I still can’t believe the Broncos didn’t trade for him. Match made in Hell. Just a dumb Gomer eating paste and playing with his toy trains or whatever the fuck this dipshit is into. And yet, there are even worse ghouls flying around this fucking league.

 

Henry Ruggs, wide receiver with all of his life in front of him, drunk drove at 156mph, which is fucking ridiculous all on its own, terrorizing the Las Vegas Strip and trying to go Back to the Future or some shit, but his car was no DeLorean and he did not go back to make sure his parents fucked so he would be alive. Instead, he smashed into some poor girl with her dog. And the worst part is that people were trying to get her and lil’ dogger free from the wreck as a small fire started, but then the small fire became a big fire and everyone just had to stand back and WATCH A WOMAN AND HER DOG GET BURNED ALIVE, all because Ruggs had to try to set the land speed record, which they do in the desert over there.

 

But that’s just what happens when you put a bunch of roided up freakshows in their killing years in fucking Las Vegas of all places. They never stop digging those goddamn desert graves because of jackasses like Ruggs, whose girlfriend was also seriously injured by the dude trying to break the fucking sound barrier.

 

Vegas is the horrific nightmare of the failed American Dream, a propped up con in the desert, sucking water from the Colorado River and Lake Mead, air conditioned hell pods all over the fucking place, designed to drag the ugly out of everyone who comes through, rifling through their bank accounts, sure, but also stripping people of whatever dignity they might have, hell on Earth.

 

There is nothing – NOTHING – that Las Vegas needs to exist. It is a trap, a con, and hey, here are 50 or 60 young men who have been bred from birth to believe that they are kings of the world and junkyard dogs at the same time. Welcome to Vegas!

 

Henry Ruggs tried to Back to the Future it, and the shitty thing is, he is not alone. He is but one idiot in a fucking harem of idiots loosed on the Las Vegas streets. Damon Arnette, Raiders cornerback, just got thrown out because he was making open DEATH THREATS on the internet, which, uh, does not tend to go well for the threatener. Naturally, he’s also the target of two lawsuits due to his own reckless speed racing which left women injured. Oh, he is also accused of SPITTING on a valet worker.

 

I mean…

 

The Raiders incredible destruction in the desert has happened even quicker than I imagined it would. I feel like I called this completely or maybe I wrote it into reality. I don’t even fucking know. The young dudes think they are in a Fast & Furious movie and that Vin Diesel will make everything okay, but this shit is ugly in real life and these idiots have no idea how to live in society because they are all fucked up on delusions of grandeur, raised to fight and fuck and kill and hopefully your brain doesn’t get Benoit Disease.

 

All of this, of course, comes after Jon Gruden was sacked for being a, well, a huge asshole, and the Raiders have no fucking idea about how to do this thing. It isn’t going to work. They need to get the fuck out of Vegas NOW and land somewhere that won’t get everyone all feral, building those fucking boats to watch the monkeys cage fighting. Fuck it, just abolish the Raiders. They are a historical necessity, but as the American Dream burns and collapses all around us, there is no place for these vile fucks who have destroyed whatever goodwill they had with their Oakland fans.

 

And the fucked up thing is that it’s all being run by a fucking TV dude Mike Mayock, who once put the pads on, but is best known for being Mel Kiper’s shadow on the NFL Network for draft geek shit. That’s who is running the NFL Vegas show, which is just a howling void, the ruination of humanity, just endlessly screaming for something meaningful, but there is nothing meaningful to be found in Las Vegas, which probably means that Aaron Rodgers will finish his tainted career throwing footballs in the desert, where they never stop digging those fucking holes. And all any of us can do is hope that we get on the right boat which is calm and we all have our cabins while Aaron Rodgers, Henry Ruggs and all these fuckers make a flotilla to Hell.