Well, Let's Talk

Can't we all just get along?

WELL HELL, MAN, AT LEAST TRY

One of the biggest sources of controversy following the Lions loss to the Vikings is Jim Schwartz's decision to play for the field goal instead of the touchdown at the end of the first half. I think he should have played for the touchdown. Others disagree.

It's been pointed out that the people who are complaining about Schwartz's lack of aggression at the end of the first half this week are the same ones who complained about him going for it on 4th and 1 last week instead of kicking the field goal. It has been pointed out that this is internally inconsistent logic and that it is evidence that some people just like to bitch. I disagree.

The two situations are completely different. One involved a live or die decision. Heads you're right, tails you're wrong and in the aftermath of that, I said that history decides what's right or wrong - fairly or unfairly. Going for it or not going for it had immediate consequences in that case. It was either a field goal or the first down. Schwartz's decision would directly translate into either a thumbs up or a thumbs down from The Fates.

But the other decision was not so much a decision as it was a philosophy, and it's a philosophy that I am uncomfortable with. In fact, it's a philosophy I have been rumbling quietly about since I first saw Schwartz in action as the Lions head coach. It's a philosophy of fear, of failure, and it will kill you every damn time.

That's not to say that I don't think Schwartz is a promising head coach - I do - it's just that this is something that always drives me nuts. It's a cliche to say you play to win the damn games. And yet, it's true. And in order to do that you have to maximize your opportunities. And that, at the end of the first half, down 7 on the road, was an opportunity that the Lions just didn't take.

People are acting like it was a decision between a field goal and a touchdown. Like you could only go for one. If you went for the touchdown, then that was it. This is ridiculous. The Lions could have taken a shot at the endzone and if they didn't get it, then they could have still kicked a field goal. They didn't even bother to do this. They just tightened up, freaked out and kicked the field goal before anything bad could happen.

And that's it. Right there. That's it. That's why people are pissed off. It's the attitude of fear and failure. It's not the losing (well, it is, but not totally.) It's that the attitude of fear and failure are so familiar. That's what people mean when they are breaking out the Same Old Lions talk. It has to do with that attitude and that attitude is still there.

You can talk all you want to about things being different, about Kyle Vanden Bosch changing the culture of the locker room and Jim Schwartz understanding percentages and game theory and about how this time it's different. You can say all that - and I have too - but then the moment is there and there is Jason Hanson because Jim Schwartz doesn't believe that his team can execute and all the talk just fades away because in the moment, when it mattered, the Lions gave into fear. And that's what people are so down about.

SO CAN WE BITCH OR WHAT?

The real issue that's been brewing underneath all of this - the 4th and 1 call, the decision to settle for the field goal, the lack of a downfield passing game - is that Lions fans are quickly retreating into familiar, well worn territory of their own. On the one side, you have people hollering and carrying on, gibbering like rabid baboons about how we need to fire everyone and oh shit, we're doomed and calling the whole Mayhew/Schwartz era a failure already. This is of course ridiculous and reactionary as all hell and is dominated by The Fear.

I understand that people are unhappy - hell, I'm unhappy - and are sick of the losing, but you still have to be smart. How does starting over again help us win? It doesn't. We have to see this through and we haven't given it nearly enough time to take shape.

On the other hand, you have the people who have retreated into the familiar ALL IS WELL camp even as chaos reigns around them and this is just as reactionary and just as dominated by The Fear. It is an emotion born of desperation, of the need to believe wholeheartedly in what is happening because you are simply too afraid to face the consequences of it failing.

Both are blind. Both owe their allegiance to The Fear. Both ignore reality in favor of a predetermined storyline. One side refuses to believe because they are afraid of getting hurt. The other side refuses to acknowledge the darkness because they remember the pain of the past all too well and are terrified to ever have to back there. I talked about this schism in a post I did before the season about Jeff Backus and I think my basic point holds true here.

With all that said, of course we can bitch. We just have to be smart and reasonable about it. The stratification of the Lions fan base, though, has unfortunately led to a stalemate of sorts, almost like a Democratic-Republican split. Nothing is reasonable. If the other side says something, then it's wrong. But if someone from your side says something, then hell, it must be right. This is what leads to people denouncing anyone who dares to criticize the Mighty Schwartz. They immediately are labeled a part of the enemy camp and they have their arguments dismissed as the idiot ranting of the reactionary and dumb.

Well, sometimes criticism isn't reactionary and sometimes it isn't dumb. Sometimes it's warranted. My own criticisms of Schwartz aren't reactionary. Believe it or not, I am not the type to just shoot and then ask questions later. Parts of me are wild, but other parts are governed by cool reason.

Like I said earlier, I've had certain concerns about Schwartz for a while. I've discussed them - rationally, I'd like to believe - almost going back to the start of his first season. I think that they're valid. You might disagree. That's fine. I just want to be able to say "Hey yo, that really wasn't a very good idea" without being labeled a reactionary twit or being called a fount of negativity or whatever.

As Lions fans, we have no idea how to deal with our emotions. We are idiot children, and I have talked about this many times too. So I understand how easy it is to slip into one camp or the other, but we have to try, you know? We have to try to be levelheaded and honest about the situation, for good or for bad. Once upon a time, I was piledriving Rod Marinelli while everyone else was singing his praises because the team just went 7-9. (And yeah, I know how hilarious that sentence seems to an outsider, but for us, 7-9 was a big damn deal.) I'm not comparing Schwartz and Marinelli here, so don't get it twisted. I still like Schwartz. I do. It's just that sometimes, you have to look at the situation for what it is and not for what you hope it to be or for what you're afraid it could be. Don't allow yourself to be governed by The Fear, for good or for bad. That's it. That's all I wanted to say and I really, really don't want to have to write a version of this every week, you know? So if I don't address this too much in the future, that will be why.

THE DETROIT LIONS ARE BULLSHIT

Okay, so enough with the serious business. Sometimes, I like to see how people are finding Armchair Linebacker. I like to see just which Google searches lead to this bizarre little kingdom. So, on I think Monday, I checked this out and I came across the above gem: "The Detroit Lions Are Bullshit." I mean, of course Google, in all its infinite wisdom directed the searcher here.

But then, a couple of days later, I found one that obliterated "The Detroit Lions Are Bullshit." Yes, I mentioned this on Twitter, but someone found Armchair Linebacker via a search for "my child has an IQ of 67 what does this mean?" As I said on Twitter, it means that you're home, friend. It means that you're home.

OH GOD I FEEL ANCIENT

When the telecast of the game against the Vikings started, I was immediately repulsed by the site of Kenny Albert. It's nothing against Marv's little bro, but man . . . that dude is an unfortunate looking man. I was busy wondering if he had Downs Syndrome or if he'd just been kicked in the head by an angry goat when who should appear by Darryl Johnston. And then I almost cried.

You see, "Moose" looked like he was about 60 years old, all wrinkles and silver hair and all I could think is that it didn't seem like that long ago that I was watching him play fullback for those Dallas Cowboys teams of the '90's. I remember those teams well. Those were my teenage years and it was a legit shock to see an athlete from that era looking so damn old. I mean, shit, this wasn't supposed to happen to me for at least another twenty years. Damn you, Darryl Johnston. What the fuck happened to you? Yeah, you're not young anymore, but shit, you shouldn't look like you're 1/2 a Summerall already, you know? Good Lord.

Okay, in retrospect, I kind of wish I would have just written about Willie Young but it's too late now. I really, really don't want to be drawn into whatever shitty Civil War is going on amongst Lions fans, but I just wanted to say some things, you know? I felt like they needed to be said and I'm glad that I did. I hope that they make sense to you. I have people who I really, really like on both sides of this divide so I'm kind of expecting to get yelled at a little bit. But to hell with all that, we are all gentledudes and lady gentledudes and we are all champions in our hearts and we are Lions fans and we are tough as hell. We'll get through this.