I don’t feel well and my arthritis is acting up because I am
an old man who misspent his youth with reckless and wanton degeneracy (his
present too, to be honest) so instead of the usual gibberish, I am replacing it
with . . . HAIKUS. I hope some ninny accuses me of cultural appropriation or
some shit (that actually happened to my boy (and yours) Raven Mack a while back
when he tried to set up one of those Haiku battle events he does when he was in
California a couple of months ago. Apparently, he asked a dude about it and the
dude got all nervous and said the local arts community (lol) might get OUTRAGED
because of cultural appropriation reasons . . . lol the world has gotten so
fucking dumb) Anyway, last week, I went 6-10 to bring my overall record to 79-93-10
because I am a natural born loser and even though – EVEN THOUGH – this is true,
it should not obfuscate the point, which is that within these loser picks lies
a greater and truer wisdom that cannot be bound by things like Vegas lines or
money because both of those things are even greater liars, devils meant to
deceive us and mislead us from the spiritual truths we know to be True. Anyway,
suck on that, VegasInsider.com!!!
L.A. Chargers (+3.5)
at Kansas City
Kareem Hunt is dead
Damned by a snitch video
Tyreek Hill burns tapes
Pick: Kansas City
Houston (-6) at N.Y.
Jets
Flood waters recede
Houston escapes decreed doom
Yet Sam Darnold drowns
Pick: Houston
Cleveland (+3) at
Denver
The city of lights
The Cuyahoga still burns
Such is Cleveland’s Truth
Pick: Cleveland
Miami (+7) at Minnesota
A miracle’s glow
Just another memory
Kirk Cousins is Trash
Pick: Minnesota
Oakland (+3) at Cincinnati
A people betrayed
Broken by soulless lizards
America’s Tale
Pick: Cincinnati
Tampa Bay (+7.5) at
Baltimore
The crab-leg rapist
False Messiah exposed while
Harvard man wastes life
Pick: Baltimore
Dallas (+3) at
Indianapolis
A lizard man smile
The dark American Truth
Is the bad guy wins
Pick: Dallas
Detroit (+2.5) at
Buffalo
lollollollollol
lollollollollollollol
lollollollollol
Pick: Buffalo
Green Bay (+6) at
Chicago
Changing of the guard
Or a temporary lull
Between devil pacts?
Pick: Chicago
Tennessee (+2.5) at
N.Y. Giants
New York reborn in
The Hype of a new era
Yet Eli remains
Pick: Giants
Washington (+7) at
Jacksonville
A dead capital
An obvious metaphor
Abandon all Hope
Pick: Jacksonville
Arizona (+8.5) at
Atlanta
Two beautiful birds
The falcon and cardinal
Disgraced by these shits
Pick: Atlanta
Seattle (-4.5) at San
Francisco
I don’t care at all
Not even a little bit
And neither do you
Pick: Seattle
Philadelphia (+11) at
L.A. Rams
The champ has fallen
An LA story emerges
Beware false crownings
Pick: Rams
New Orleans (-6) at
Carolina
A wretched city
Dirty and soaked in failure
God I love it so
Pick: New Orleans
New England (-2) at
Pittsburgh
Brady stalks the halls
Naked awash in hot blood
Revving a chainsaw
Pick: New England
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