Sunday, April 5, 2009

Reviewing the Drafts: The Calm Before the Storm

So I was listening to the Velvet Underground earlier and naturally, Heroin made me think of the Lions and so I figured I'd throw up another installment of my review of the drafts of Christmas past - "throw up" being the key phrase.

There's one quick note that I wanted to mention before I get on with this lunacy. Apparently since they started playing basketball games at Ford Field, the team that has used the Lions home locker room is 0-5, including both games in the Final Four last night. So, even the Final Four has been infected by the Lions stink. This is a franchise so miserable that one sport can't contain it. No, instead, Lions Disease is spreading like a virus. I'm beginning to wonder if Abe Lincoln used the Lions locker room at some point. Oh Lord, why?

Anyway, we're up to the year 2000 in our draft review, edging still closer to the Matt Millen era. We're not there yet thank God, but the clouds are darkening and if we knew any better we all could have prepared a bit better for the coming storm. Maybe we could have told loved ones how we really felt about them before it was too late, maybe traveled to places where we always wanted to go, did something crazy just to say we did it, something, anything, as long as it was done in a world still innocent, untouched by the madness, the horror, of that buffoon. It's too late for any of that shit though, and so all we can do is look back and try to remember the final draft class before the world went dark.

With their first round pick in the 2000 NFL Draft, the 20th overall - and again, yes, it is shocking that there was a time when the Lions were the upper crust of the mediocre set - they selected Stockar McDougle, a mountainous offensive tackle out of Oklahoma. The year before, the Lions selected Jabba Gibson, and it looked like they were looking to set the outside of their offensive line for years to come. It was an enticing prospect, a line bookended by two huge, athletic tackles. It was a nice dream, but dreams aren't real, and when it came time to wake up, the Lions found themselves left with exactly nothing.

McDougle was kind of the original Lennie Small in Detroit. Like my man Lennie, McDougle was a big, athletic, seemingly talented guy who just happened to suck at football. There was no Gosder Cherilus brought in to replace McDougle though, and he stuck around for five seasons with the Lions. Gibson and McDougle. They were supposed to be the future of the Lions offensive line. Instead, they both bombed, and today neither one is anything but a faded memory to most Lions fans. They're not even notable for being failures. There has been so much that has gone wrong, so many players who have failed utterly and spectacularly in Detroit, that neither one of these guys is anything but a footnote, an "Oh yeah, I guess I sorta remember that guy." When that is supposed to be the future of the offensive line, well, the future contains things like bleached skulls, drain cleaner, bad Jay Leno jokes and weekly apocalypses. McDougle played one season with Miami and one with Jacksonville after leaving the Lions, both seasons serving as a backup, and hasn't played since 2006. Bust? Bust.

With their second round pick, the 50th overall, the Lions took Barrett Green, a linebacker out of West Virginia. Green was an undersized, fast linebacker, a good tackler and a guy who seemed like he was primed for a successful NFL career. Green stepped into the Lions starting lineup in his second season and over the next few years he became better and better. He was still too small and he was injury prone, but he was fast, a decent playmaker on the outside, and someone who I was happy was a Detroit Lion. Green naturally felt otherwise, and really, who can blame him? He bolted for the Giants as a free agent following the 2003 season, only to have his career unraveled by injuries and a general lack of productivity. After two years with the Giants he found himself trying to stick with the Texans but he never played a game at linebacker for them and to date, his last NFL game was played in 2005 with the Giants.

It's hard to nail Green down. Was he a great player? No. But he was certainly a good player, a nice pickup in the second round. But injuries derailed his career, and even if they hadn't, he took off from the Lions as soon as he could. Ideally, you would want a guy you picked up in the second round to stick around longer than a few seasons, especially when he is a starter. He's not a bust, but he's not someone you can point to either and say "There, that's a good pick." Even when the Lions do something right, it doesn't really work out. Oh, Lou Reed, sing to me about heroin again.

So, who else could the Lions have taken besides Green? Well, other linebackers who went after him include Marcus Washington, Adalius Thomas and my man Dhani Jones. Washington was the only one drafted in the same range as Green though. Would he have been a better pick? Probably. Washington was a productive player with the Colts who then went on to a Pro Bowl season with the Redskins in 2004. Of course, there is a good chance that he would have bolted at the same time that Green did, so I don't know, fuck it, let's just call it a wash.

Meanwhile, as far as McDougle goes, players taken in the next round at tackle include Marvel Smith, Chad Clifton and Todd Wade. Mark Tauscher went in the seventh round. I don't know why I do this to myself. Clifton's been a Pro Bowler, obviously he would have been a better pick. So has Smith. Wade's been a starter for much of his career, and Tauscher has been a starter since he slapped on a Packers jersey. I've got to stop doing this. Oh, the horror! The horror.

All in all, it was a fairly boring draft class. McDougle was a mediocre player who lasted a few years both because the Lions wanted him to be better than he was and because they had no one else. Green was pretty good but bolted as soon as he could. The most productive player the Lions drafted might have been Reuben Droughns, their third round pick. He twice rushed for over 1,200 yards. Of course, neither season was spent with the Lions. As draft classes go, there have been better and there have been worse. Oh, have there ever been worse. The Millen era is almost upon us, and all we can do is shudder when we remember that fateful day when he rode into town on a pale horse, and Hell followed with him.

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