Lions Season Review, Part 3: Calvin, You're Our Only Hope

Coming into the season, this was the one area of the team that it seemed like we didn't need to worry about, thanks in part to Matt Millen's famous obsession with drafting any receiver who batted his eyes at him, and due in part to the productivity of a couple of shifty slot receivers plucked off the scrap heap. It was a good combination of players who thrived in Mike Martz' free wheeling passing attack, and with Calvin Johnson entering his second season the receiving corps promised to be even better. But. Yes, there's always a but with this team, especially this season, and in this case the but was that the Lions offense was shifting to a power running, ball control offense despite their best offensive talent being lined up on the outside. Go figure.

Once the season started two things became clear: the first was that Calvin Johnson was indeed going to be a superstar, the second was that every other receiver was suddenly less effective than they were a year before.

Let's start with Johnson, because, well, why not? He's the best player on this godforsaken team and the only one who doesn't make me want to camp outside Ford Field with a shotgun and a hatchet. Coming out of college, St. Calvin was the best receiver prospect to come along in years. Naturally, Matt Millen couldn't stay away, and this time it was actually a good thing. Blessed with outstanding size which he could use to outmuscle smaller defensive backs, blistering speed which he could use to not only run away from linebackers and safeties, but also the fastest corners in the league, Johnson also possessed that coveted ability to out jump defenders and win jump balls down the field and in the end zone with his giant hands and terrific hand eye coordination. Of course, as a rookie Johnson had his troubles, but what the hell, so do most receivers. Hope was high. Here was a dude who could do anything he wanted on the field, just a complete freak, and he was ours. And amazingly, he actually lived up to the billing.

Catching 78 balls for 1331 yards and 12 TD's, with an average gain of 17.1 yards, Johnson became the all everything weapon that the Lions can build on. No matter how bad it got, and holy shit did it get bad, at least we had Calvin, and that's something we can take with us into next season. He's still young, he's headed into his third year and the sky's the limit. Sure, he still drops a few too many balls, but fuck it, I'm not gonna complain. That would be like a homeless dude bitching because his new free apartment didn't have air conditioning. The only thing that worries me, and really, I should say terrifies me, is the incredibly likely prospect of CJ getting beaten down by all the misery that comes with being a Detroit Lion and giving up. It's happened before, so it wouldn't shock me to see Calvin just say fuck it and go through the motions until he is traded. There have already been signs of it. There are times when the poor guy's body language looks like Andy Dufresne's in Shawshank. Again, it's happened before. I mean, this is a franchise that drove Barry Sanders to a tearful early retirement because he couldn't put up with all this ridiculous bullshit anymore. We broke one phenom's spirit, why not another?

One need only look at Roy Williams to see how quickly something like this can happen. When Williams was drafted out of Texas a few years ago, the Lions claimed that he was number one on their board of all the players in the draft. And he played like it too. At times, Williams looked utterly dominant and in 2006, he was third in the NFL in receiving yardage with 1310. And then in 2007 his numbers declined just a bit. Everyone was willing to say that he was simply focused on more by opposing defenses, but logically this didn't make much sense, what with young Calvin out there, not to mention free agent pickup Shaun McDonald. If anything, Williams should have been able to get open more often with more threats for the opposing defense to worry about. What everyone should have noticed was that Williams was already starting to get lazy. He started dropping more passes, and his body language began to exhibit trademark symptoms of Lions Disease. Once the 2008 season got under way, it became clear that Roy was a goner, lost to that dreaded disease which has claimed so many. It seemed like every week he would spend the days before the game bitching about the game plan(okay, to be fair, so was I, but still, just go out and play dude), and then come game time he would drop everything thrown his way and then would just say fuck it and coast. By the end of the fifth game of the season, Williams had only caught 17 passes for 232 yards and 1 measly TD. And that's when the trade happened.

Perhaps Williams' most enduring legacy in Detroit will be providing the foundation for the eventual rebuilding of the franchise. His exile brought with it a handful of draft picks that the Lions conned out of Jerry Jones, and with them, maybe, just maybe, the Lions might have found a life raft. Regardless of what happens with those picks, the Roy Williams era ended swiftly and brutally in Detroit, and like many, many other Lions draft picks, he will be remembered as a disappointment and as one more dead body littered on the roadside of Matt Millen's highway to hell.

So, with Williams gone, the other starting receiver job opposite St. Calvin fell upon Shaun McDonald. McDonald came over before the 2007 season as a free agent from St. Louis who was versed in Mike Martz' system. A small slot receiver, McDonald gave the Lions another option to attack the defense, and in 2007 at least, McDonald did his job. He actually led the team with 76 catches, and served as a fairly dependable receiver as the Lions had their best season in the Millen era. Unfortunately for both McDonald and the Lions, he is a capable player in the slot, but when you force him to move outside, well, not so much. McDonald's too small, and he's more shifty than fast, and what's more, on numerous occasions in the 2008 season, McDonald looked like he was afraid to go over the middle, alligator arming an alarming number of balls thrown his way. His final numbers were considerably down from the year before, with 35 catches for 332 yards and 1 TD. This was due in part to the change in offensive philosophy, in part to his playing out of position, and in part to his season being ended by an injury with 4 games left to go. Regardless of the factors, it should be clear that Shaun McDonald, who by the way, not to be mean, kinda looks like a midget troll or something from some Rankin Bass holiday movie on acid, is not going to be a dependable number two receiver for the Lions. Okay, so that was a little mean, but whatever.

But wait, there is another you say. Mike Furrey is a popular player, in large part because he is white and because he has the whole David Eckstein Scrappy Doo bullshit thing going on. Coming over from St. Louis with Mike Martz, Furrey actually spent time as a slow, white safety before Martz saw something and converted him into a slow, white receiver. Don't get me wrong, Furrey is a tough, dependable receiver who even led the team, and was second in the NFL, in receptions with 98 in 2006, his first year with the Lions. But that productivity was due in part to Martz' system, and while that production couldn't be dismissed, no one was under any delusions that Furrey was more than what he was, which was a solid, slot receiver type who could be an ideal number three or four receiver in the NFL. In 2007, Furrey's production slipped some, but this was largely because a good portion of the balls which went in his direction in 2006 were now thrown to Shaun McDonald. When the 2008 season started it seemed clear the Furrey was the fourth man out of four, and that his most productive days were probably already past. Still, when Williams was traded, there was hope that Furrey could replicate some of that production from 2006. Unfortunately, Furrey was hurt and lost for the season not too much later, and besides, he suffered from the same problems that plagued McDonald - too small, and not explosive enough to play anywhere but the slot. Furrey's numbers were ho hum, 18 catches for 181 yards and no scores in half a season's worth of work.

When Furrey went down the Lions turned to John Standeford, a typical Purdue receiver - not all that talented, good hands, comfortable in a multiple receiver set - who didn't do much of anything before coming up with a couple of important catches against the Packers in the last week of the season that almost kept the Lions in the game. Standeford ended up catching 15 passes for 244 yards in about half a season with the Lions. I like Standeford as a fifth receiver type. Anything more is just asking for disaster though. The Lions also brought in Keary Colbert, a retread from Carolina who didn't do anything and who probably won't ever do anything.

The Lions were plagued by both injuries and a general lack of talent at the tight end position. By the end of the season, Michael Gaines had emerged basically by default as the starting tight end. Gaines, who came over from Carolina, is an average player, serviceable enough I suppose, but he's not going to do anything that makes the team any better. Really, the best you can hope for there is that he doesn't fuck anything up too badly and pray that there are other guys on the team who can make plays. Behind him were John Owens, who is basically just a dude, and Casey Fitzsimmons, who has been a project at tight end for what feels like a million years. Fitzsimmons probably has the most talent of the tight ends on the Lions roster, but enough time has passed where it's probably bullshit to say that he is a raw talent or whatever other dumb cliché you want to use. He's been in the league long enough that he should be able to get it done, but in 2008 he was pretty much just a dude, like everyone else at tight end.

What We Learned: That Calvin Johnson is Super Man. He can do whatever he wants, and I just hope that he wants to keep playing as a Detroit Lion. We also learned that, with Mike Martz gone, the other Lions receivers suddenly didn't seem so talented. Roy Williams basically quit, and see ya dude. McDonald and Furrey are decent third and fourth receiver types who, when asked to do too much, will be overmatched, much like the rest of the team. Basically, we learned that the Lions receiving corps as a whole isn't as good as everyone thought it was. We learned that the tight ends are marginal players, and that aside from St. Calvin, this is a group devoid of any real playmakers.

What We Can Expect: Probably more of the same. In an ideal world, I would love it if the Lions added a second receiver to take the heat off of Johnson. But in an ideal world, I would also be the Emperor of Canada and would bankrupt the country hunting Bigfoot. But that is just too weird, and it is just as well, since this is not an ideal world and the Lions have far too many other pressing needs to worry about. What that will likely leave us with is Johnson forced to make plays because no one else is capable, and after that, all we can hope is that McDonald, Furrey, or whoever else is eventually lined up on the other side of the field will be able to make enough catches to keep the ball moving while the other team is quintuple teaming St. Calvin. The best we can probably hope for is for Johnson to continue progressing at an exponential rate until he is the best receiver in the league, while the other players hang on until help can finally arrive. At worst, CJ will give up, the other guys will be overwhelmed and then it is hello shithouse again.

What I Said Before the Season: Grade: B+ if everyone plays like I think they can, but I will knock it down to a B due to the new offense, with the caveat that this unit could take off and be an A- or even an A if Williams and Johnson drop this Transformers shit and play like men.

Overall Final Grade: B-, and that is only because I am in love with St. Calvin. If I am going to be fair, I will separate him from the rest of the trash and give him an A and everyone else a D. Perhaps that is too harsh, but, yeah, let's say it again . . . 0-16.