The Detroit Lions: An Astrological Explanation

My dear friend, the one who goes by the sobriquet "She-Geek" along with a variety of other "Geek" related names (and who can be found on Twitter here: @Geekized) sent me this and my dear lord, how could I not post this?  Some might say this is witchcraft of some kind but those are the bleatings of patriarchal dogs.  We, however, are more urbane.  We are spirit travelers on the great spirit road and are not afraid to step outside of our comfort zones in the search for truth.  Besides, where in the hell else are you gonna find shit like this?  This is right in our wheelhouse.  It is with that in mind that I bring you this . . . this awe inspiring piece of brilliance.  Okay, take it away Madame She-Geek:

Astrology is a hobby of mine, so a while back I did the Lions chart. Since there is no definitive date of the team's beginning, I used the date of their very first game.

1. The thing that jumped right out to me was the position of Mars. In a team chart, Mars represents the male energy of all the players. In this chart, Mars, circled in red, is at 15 degrees Leo (which is the Lion, no less). 15 degrees Leo is considered to be the unluckiest aspect in the entire zodiac. If that wasn't bad enough, Mars is placed in the eighth house of death. 

2. The sun, circled in blue, which in this chart is nicely placed in the 10th house, is not-so-nicely stuck at 29 degrees Virgo. The 29th degree of any sign is the weakest point. The sign of Leo is ruled by the sun, and the sun also acts like the spirit of the team. Having this aspect is basically like an endless spinning of wheels, a block to any sort of forward motion.

3. The ascendant, circled in green, is directly opposed by Chiron, which acts as either a healer or emphasizes some kind of wound or weakness. In this team chart, the ascendant represents the physical body of the team as a whole. Being that it is opposed by Chiron, this would indicate an ongoing weakness, or perhaps injuries and lack of cohesion or simply a lack of direction.

So there it is. Take what you want, leave the rest. And if you don't believe in this stuff, well..fuck you. :P

And, well . . . there you have it.