A New Day

So, the Lions got their man. Jim Schwartz, the defensive coordinator of the Tennessee Titans is the new dude in town, and I am . . . happy.

Yes, I am actually happy with this hire. Schwartz is a cerebral sort of coach who understands the game of football, someone who is obsessed with the fine details that go into a game, someone who will know why each and every play either works or doesn't work, someone who understands that the NFL is a league full of professional athletes who don't need a father, but rather a coach who can out scheme the dude standing on the other sideline. And finally, he is someone who appears to be the complete opposite of Rod Marinelli.

My thoughts on Marinelli and his shortcomings has been made blindingly obvious by now so I won't go through it all again, as much for my own sanity as your patience, but let's just say he was a shitty coach and move on. Of course, the danger here is that a drunken hobo would probably look like a step up from the horrifying events of the past year. They could have hired a shit faced Barry Switzer and I would have just shrugged and thought well, at least he isn't Marinelli.

And, of course, before anyone gets too excited, let's not forget that this dude has never been a head coach before, and he could turn out to be Cam Cameron or Norv Turner or any number of coordinators who turned out to be shitty head coaches. Plus, there is the fact that what he is inheriting in Detroit would likely lose to the dudes in the movie Necessary Roughness. And I mean the actors too, not the characters. I'm sure Scott Bakula would shred the shit out of these assholes and he's gotta be like 50 by now. Plus, they had Sinbad, and you just know that . . . never mind, enough gibberish. Basically, he could be a combination of Bill Walsh, Jesus and Moses and the team is probably still going to suck.

Look, he may not have the temperament to be a successful head coach. He might not be able to deal with the players, he might freeze up during the game when it comes time to make the big decisions, he might be in over his head completely. I doubt it, the dude has a pretty solid pedigree, but you never know. Personally I feel pretty good about getting a dude who cut his teeth under Bill Belichick and Jeff Fisher, and who has had a top ten defense the last two seasons in Tennessee. He seems to know his shit and that's worlds better than we can say about the last dude who staggered through town.

If anything, this hire gives me hope that the new dudes in charge, Martin Mayhew and Tom Lewand, have at least a semblance of a clue. And again, this might not mean much because a retarded ape would seem like a step up from that buffoon Millen, but hopefully this means that there will be at least an air of competency in Detroit. I am cautiously optimistic here, which is something new around here. Fuck it, I am probably just setting myself for disappointment again, but I don't care. Let's do this shit.

Welcome to hell Jim Schwartz, I hope you like it hot and scary as fuck. We're glad to have you.